so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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