no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize