Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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