So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
this boner is exhausting
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
