There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
