I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
