her facebook's as public as her vagina
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize