I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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