my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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