the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
