me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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