i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
