i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize