shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
