And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she told me i tasted like america
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Randomize
