i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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