my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
