Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
