well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
