your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
