Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
