he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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