I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
