You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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