i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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