it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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