I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
