We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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