Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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