Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
