it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
