2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
