"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Acid is not a monday night drug
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
