Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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