i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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