I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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