i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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