I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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