I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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