So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
