Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Is it because I queefed?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
