Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
