Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The adults are the big ones right?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
