Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize