i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Randomize
