a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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