I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize