I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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