Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
