bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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