...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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