My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
