I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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