I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
that is very illegal...i love you.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
