I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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