ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
