New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
