Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
