xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
