I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
