quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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