ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
