I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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