they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
