I'm gonna have a badass scar
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize