Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
