I cannot find my penis.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
