the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
