You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
