Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
