I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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