I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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