Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
