Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i think im in europe. pls send help
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
