the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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