omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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