Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
