And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize