I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
