Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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