When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im about as happy as oj after his trial
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
