umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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