for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
