In the future we'll all be gay
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize